A belated welcome to Nat and Grace, two new digital marketing experts, in to our gaggle. They’ve been with us for some time now so they’re relaxed, comfortable and cracking on with projects – so I thought I’d catch them unaware by sitting them on my couch and firing questions at them.
All in good fun, of course.
Let the questions commence!
Are you both sitting comfortably?
Wait… that’s not the first question! I’m just trying to put you at ease.
Failing that my dulcet tones will sooth your every fibre. Or not, as depicted by your vague expressions – never mind, first question!
I’m rambling, we shall start:
Q: What excites you about digital marketing?
Grace: The most exciting thing about digital marketing is its huge potential. You can get in touch with anyone around the world from Richard Branson to Joey Essex, they probably won’t reply but you can definitely give it a go! So far I’ve only had one response from a mildly famous person, Tony Law, an erratic but hilarious comedian…that was a very exciting day!
So I guess what I’m trying to say is that digital marketing gives you the ability to reach out to almost everyone, whether that’s through Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, Instagram – the list goes on!
Nat: The internet is really, really big now. Like really big. It’s totally revolutionised how humans communicate and consume media. Digital marketing is recognising the ubiquity of the modern web, especially in the business world, and adapting it to streamline and disperse the best content to the most appropriate audience. It’s a process that reminds you of the truly innovative stuff that humans can come up with, which is definitely exciting.
Q: Which Harry Potter character would you be?
Grace: Well… as a huge Harry Potter fan this one’s very tricky. I think I’m going to go with Luna Lovegood, mainly because she’s everything I would love to be. Firstly, a witch, that alone would be amazing but not only that she’s carefree, strong, confident and individual – with a fabulous sense of style.
Nat: Well, Hermione’s parents had a pretty chill time – well-paid dentists who get a free trip to Australia to sit out the war between good and evil with the most concerning task being how to protect Mr Granger’s Kindle from all that sand.
But that’s boring because magic. So I’d probably be Krum. He’s Scandinavian (I think) so he’s got that going for him. He’s also great at catching shy levitating balls and, well, JK Rowling wouldn’t have included them if they weren’t important.
Q: What do you get up to outside of the office?
Grace: Outside of the office you may find me, gin and tonic in hand, scrolling through Netflix to find my next favourite film or TV series to watch with my cats (don’t worry, I only have two so I’m not crazy cat lady – yet!).
Nat: Mountain Biking-Bailing. It’s my own modified version of the sport that’s much more hard-hitting; most expert cyclists actually still struggle with the concept. I also like to make and listen to music, read those book things and crack jokes that I have to explain afterwards.
Q: Would you rather have no hands or no tongue?
Grace: Very random question but I think I would pick no hands. I would find it very frustrating to not be able to speak and if I had no hands I could maybe get a hook instead? That might give me the chance to meet up with Captain Hook (I’m thinking from the TV series Once Upon a Time rather than the Disney version), I’m sure he could teach me a few things about how to use it!
Nat: No tongue. I’d never say anything inappropriate again, become a better listener and I’d no longer worry about biting my tongue when I fall down. I could also create a new language based off the rhythm of my hands clapping. Sort of like Morse code, but with more – I dunno – impact.
Q: What’s your favourite takeaway food?
Grace: I love a Thai takeaway! The creamy, spicy, nuttiness just gives it the edge over Chinese food.
Nat: Probably pizza. Is that too predictable? No, it’s you that is wrong.
Ed: I didn’t say anything.
Q: When you awoke this morning, what was the first thing that came to mind?
Grace: “FOR F*** SAKE!” – The cats woke me up AGAIN at 5am. What is with cats waking up at 5am?? I should have learnt by now just to shut them out at night.
Ed: Nat, I appreciate you may be reeling from Grace’s potty mouth, but gather yourself – so what about your first waking thing?
Nat: “Sleep is for the weak, time to do my morning workout routine”.
That turned out to be a false awakening and my first authentic thought this morning was a long, drawn-out reminder not to leave the remnants of my Weetabix in the bowl. (Have you tried washing that stuff off? It’s like industrial glue.)
Ed: I’ve an avid Weetabix ‘ingestor’ (why is that not in the dictionary?) but I’m also vigilant in expediting post-Weetabix consumption bowl swilling.
Q: What was the last photo you took with your phone, share it with us?
That’s Manchester in the distance, from the peak district. Just before the wind blew my sandwich bag away forever.
Ed: You’re openly admitting to littering the countryside? Moving swiftly on –
Tea or coffee, your argument for and against:
Grace: It used to be all about the tea for me but since leaving Uni – and now actually having to do proper work – I’ve betrayed tea and switched to coffee, I just need the energy!
Nat: At the risk of causing a rift in the office, I’ll try and stay neutral here. Tea’s soothing, but also lacks the kick of a good coffee. Coffee has the kick, but do it wrong and you’re shaking slightly and unable to look at anything for longer than half a second. Is there a middle ground? Something that takes the benefits of both? I’ll stop there, playing god is dangerous.
Q: If you could live the day in the life of anyone dead or alive, who would it be and why?
Grace: I would definitely go back in time and be Freddie Mercury for a day. Imagine opening the show at Wembley or getting a first-hand insight into Freddie’s notorious 41st birthday party at Pikes Hotel (this is one of the reasons why Ibiza Rocks Hotel is the coolest place ever).
Nat: Probably David Attenborough. He gets paid to travel the world and observe all the majestic natural wonders. And that voice…
Q: What key on your keyboard have you never used?
Grace: I hardly ever use this one (I don’t know what it’s called so I’ve provided a helpful picture!):
Nat: The ‘any key’. Never found it! Ha…ha… sigh.
Q: Have you ever attempted to eat a Christmas Bauble?
Grace: Ed…why would anyone do this? How did you even think of this question?? #SoWeird
Nat: No, they’re inedible. But for some reason I can’t leave my answer at that because surely this question has been asked for a reason. One of Ed’s many cryptic tests…
Ed: You could ask my mother?
Or we could just call it a wrap… and yes, that’s a pun!
There we have it, two splendiferous new comrades to join the Midas fold. Both clearly capable and fearless in collaring my devious questions head on, with aplomb.
I think you’ll agree, the future’s bright for this pair. Now – let’s get back to work.